Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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