I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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