were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
