thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
