I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm getting married
To pizza
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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