i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
