seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
