have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
