Jerry, you need to find god
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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