i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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