For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
