they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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