rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize