Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
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