you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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