dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
