What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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