Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Randomize
Follow @tfln