Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
