You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Who did Billy Mays play for?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
