It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
