Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize