It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I'm way too hungover for life right now
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
