I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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