Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
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