i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So gin and wine won't be happening again
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
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