So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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