Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
