she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
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There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
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I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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