I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So vagazzling was a success
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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