this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
