Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
