just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
