I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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