THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
the day after is always just damage control
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
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