My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
