I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The adults are the big ones right?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
