Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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