I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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