i don't like sucking hair
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
We are two peas in an std pod
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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