The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
