alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize