How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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