I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
