Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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