But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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