I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
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