fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
