i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Randomize
