they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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