That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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