i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
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My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
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I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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