I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
