Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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