It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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