I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
