Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
