That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
